why georgia, why?

if you can't already tell, i have a tendency to tie my emotions/thoughts/feelings to a song. here's some lyrics:

i rent a room and
i fill the spaces with wood in places
to make it feel like home,
but all I feel's alone.
it might be a quarter life crisis
or just the stirring in my soul

either way, i wonder sometimes
about the outcome
of a still verdictless life

am I living it right?
am I living it right?
am I living it right?
why, why georgia, why?
-johnny m.

so... i decided to compile a list of the tell-tale signs that indicate the onslaught of a quarter-life crisis:

1) your dentist makes you wear a mouth-guard to bed every night because you grind your teeth at 22.
2) you need white noise to drown out little or no noise in your own bed, in your own house (perhaps an oscillating fan or a sound machine that has waterfalls and various other jungle noises keeping your sub-conscious entertained while sleeping).
3) you start taking women's one-a-day pills with a metabolism booster.
4) you never go outside in the sun without putting sunblock on your face because you are seriously trying to prevent signs of aging... or you have a mother who looks ethereal at 52 and you'd like to look like her 30 years from now.
5) you moisturize after every shower.
6) you wash your hair every other day instead of everyday because you do not want to devastate your gorgeous locks. included in #6 as well might be that you let your hair air dry more frequently rather than using the blow dryer and flat iron simply because you want to preserve the "healthy" and "alive" look for the next 20-30 years or so until you have to kill it with hair color to hide the gray. also, in #6, you may think about how you wish you could wash your hair even less, but don't know how simply because you work out all the time and your hair looks disgusting afterwards, so you have to shower (there really needs to be a remedy for this problem... i wish vanity wasn't such an issue in the female population).
7) you try not to eat after 7 pm which leaves you starving at 2 am, causing you to wake up in the middle of the night, running downstairs to eat a couple of reese's pieces, and then blogging about quarter-life crises.
8) you start to pick apart your food (or maybe this is just me). you ask for no onions and no mayo on your food because your allergic to onions and you want to watch your cholesterol. and then waiters yell at you for asking for no onions. what the frick? do you seriously want us to get sick in your restaurant? i used to work at a steakhouse, so i know that if the customer has preferences, they're nice about them, than there's really no inconvenience to you.
9) you get pissy if you haven't worked out that day. and so you try to at least go and take a walk.
10) you develop new favorite pastimes such as cake baking (an everyday favorite of mine), painting, novel-writing, or blogging...
11) you realize that friends who are members of the opposite sex are few and far between because now they want to date you. you were just trying to be nice and are unopposed to making new friends, especially guys, but now you've put yourself in a pickle. you try to develop ways to dumb yourself down or be so absurd and ridiculous that they have to hate you, but they keep coming back for more. and then you have to be honest and say, i'm just not into you. and then you feel like a turd.
12) you begin to retreat or rock back and forth because people make you feel more and more awkward.
13) you become opinionated on what kinds of fries you like... whether be the more rough and crunchy type, or the soft and supple (that was perverse, my bad). and you decide that you rank reese's pieces in this order (best to worst): 1) brown, 2) yellow, 3) orange. and then you get mad because at least 2/4 of the bag is made of orange pieces.
14) you either become a smart ass or a dumb ass. usually ends up having something to do with your wit, street smarts, and educational upbringing, but whatever.
15) you value laughter and people that make you laugh.
16) you seriously begin to enjoy long road trips by yourself.
17) you take up napping again. maybe it's something you did frequently in high school, but then you got too college and you had too much crap going on that you could never settle your thoughts enough to take a freaking nap... even if you're friend Katie made you stay up til 630 am, go to sleep until 830 am, and then continue studying at starbucks with a transvestite sheman until your art history exam at noon.
18) you realize that caffeine is the only thing that keeps you alive. caffeine types vary from person to person, of course.
19) your friends all start getting engaged, which makes you feel like a turd because...
20) you begin to need to make plans just to keep yourself motivated. you want to travel, you want to visit friends, you need to go to a movie, etc...
21) you try running at high noon, despite the fact that tennessee is hotter and more humid than the flames of hell sometimes.
22) you develop a systematic approach to breakfast. perhaps you pour a little flax seed or wheat germ over your cereal depending on whether you want to produce more or less estrogen that day.
23) you wake up and read bbc news on your droid, iPhone, or various other secondary smart phone. still wish i had an iPhone over the droid, but whatever. i'll wait until verizon gets them.
24) you become paranoid that you can't wear your jeans in the car because they become too baggy after you've been sitting for awhile.
25) you spend hours at nordstroms with 2 of your best friends/ex-roomies at the burrito house trying on sexy pumps, and then maybe buying a pair or two, along with a cardigan during the anniversary sale...
26) you salivate over the possibility of having a car with power windows and less than 150k miles, but at the same time your foreign-made car runs great, you're personally attached to her, and she's paid for, so what's the point of getting a new one, really? even if you're hyperventilating every time you see the 2008-2010 versions of the ford escape in a cream or black color.
27) you're dying to start your job just so you can get some money in your savings, but you also know that you can't take this "off/limbo" time for granted.
28) you spend about an hour a day looking for deals on apartments/townhouses on craigslist because you're going against your age group and wanting to save, save, save rather than spend, spend, spend.
29) you dream of the day you can pay for your parent's private getaway to ireland, a place they've never been, but dream of going.
30) you laugh when your alma mater's tuition fees increase nearly twofold for the 2010-2011 graduating class when you only just graduated. part of you feels bad for your younger friends because no one knew it was coming, while the other part of you is just so glad you don't have to pay for it (or, your parents).

you could really add to this list and i could keep it going for like 9 hours, but i'm calling it a day for now. i'm finishing up reading someone's blog and then hopefully i'll sleep, wake up at a decent hour, do some kick boxing, shower, bake, etc. etc. mmkay. love you. bye.