Mothering Sunday in the UK

Happy Mum's Day, Mum!! It's Mothering Sunday in the U.K... enjoy it. Joe FB-chatted me and told me that he's at home waiting for you to bring him something to eat, so try to speed up the process would you? I know you're towing my car and everything, but I'm sure Joseph would be delighted to eat again since it sounds like he's been starving since he got home from school for the weekend. Lol, sorry your kids suck and have inconvenienced you with many a car trouble of late. You're quite the team of warriors for putting up with us. At least I can still plague you from across the ocean. Love you both, xx.

Last night, Linds and I went to see Duplicity with Julia Roberts and Clive Owen. Not so great of a movie, I'm not going to lie. I thought it would be one of those films where everything comes together in the end, but no. We were both super confused. We walked back to her and Genna's Lodge and I spent the night because we decided to watch some Private Practice. Yeah, I'm lame. Get over it.

This morning I went to St. Thomas Church at Crooke's again. Chills. This church is a hybrid like I've never seen. It's contemporary, but it has got some serious Catholic undertones. Pops, you'd love it. It's really cool how they fuse all the contemporary stuff that I love so much with some traditional Catholic prayers... something I've never seen before. Anyway, I was sitting in church for a little over an hour today with chills just running up and down the length of my body. This church is like my ideal creation... don't get me wrong, fellow Charlotteans- I'm an elevation girl all the way- but this church is hilarious.

First of all, we naturally open with worship. But there are kids running up and down the aisles and kid's church leaders jumping up and down with the kids during worship. Every transition from songs to announcements, announcements to sermon, sermon to songs takes a freaking long time, which makes it hysterical. You have no idea what to expect next. There are kids yelling randomly and the pastor is cracking jokes about Scottish people-- it's totally amazing. It's disorganized and dysfunctional, but all the more wonderful and real because of it. I really wish my dad could see it because he would love it. He could literally grab his guitar and play and sing while walking down the aisles with toddlers traipsing after him and it would be totally normal for this church. It's like your ideal church, pops. Perfect fusion of contemporary and traditional. Love it. Plus, it was like bring your baby day, so even better, right? None of the babies cried. I was astounded. It's like they were all on some kind of tear & scream-subduing medication. The best part is it's a hop, skip, and a jump away from good ol' Tapton Hall, so it literally takes me 2 minutes to get to church. Who woulda thunk it?

The sermon today was radical... at least for me. The sermon was about John 11 when Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead and the pastor tied that all together with questioning God. It fit because Lazarus was a huge part of the community and the people couldn't understand how and why he died. They believed that Jesus could have saved him, which moved Jesus to the point of resurrecting him 4 days after his death. It's corny, but exactly what I needed to hear because for the first time I'm finding myself questioning God and what He's really doing. What the pastor said was so bone-chilling that I had to write it down. He said: "Questions are good because they allow you to admit that you don't understand it, that you don't understand everything. Children learn by asking questions because they're curious and don't know everything. Good parents allow their children to ask questions, so that they can grow and learn. Bad parents tell their kids to stop asking so many questions, be quiet and to go watch some t.v. because they're inconvenienced by them. But, if good parents let their children ask questions, wouldn't our Father in Heaven allow us to ask questions all the more?" Simple and amazing. Asking questions will allow us to enjoy the experience more. The problem is that we can't and don't always have the answers. He gave several examples like a time where he was supposed to pray over a fourteen-year old girl lying in her casket when he really just wanted to ask God how he was supposed to believe in Him at a time like that. Or, when he sees injustice and wants to know why this person is going through something terrible while that selfish person is having the time of his life. He said that the real answer was, "the God story is our story. We're all a part of it; we're not some little blip on the planet. There is a plan. There is a future... for all of us. If you see the Bible as a 'Now' book, it will become powerful and meaningful to you, but if you see it as a history book, it becomes meaningless since it has no relevance to you. The answers only come after asking the questions. We can face the fear, despair, death, slavery, and abuse that we witness only because we know that there is hope, freedom, and life beyond death through Christ." He said that every one of these truths came just from asking, "Where are you, God?"

He went on to say that we didn't have to understand everything to enjoy our lives right now. Also, something I need to hear. He said "you don't have to understand the laws of gravity to enjoy the helter-skeltering." Haha. But it's so true. I've become this fireball demanding answers left and right, and they're not getting me anywhere right now. It reminded me of a convo that Katherine Moore and I had awhile ago when she told me that she thinks I've become bitter about injustice. I've never felt really angry until this year. It just really got to me that people who deserved to be treated with respect and dignity were the ones being spat on at the end of the day and called cruel names... you could apply this theory to so many circumstances, but I just won't go there. It bothers me that the few people brave enough to carry the weight of the world go unnoticed or are blamed by just about everyone. Nobody pays attention to the fact that what that person is doing is keeping everyone else alive and safe. They turn it around and say that there is something wrong with him or her, but really they just don't see all that's going on. If I'm honest with myself that really did get to me. When you don't know, you don't care, and you don't hurt. It's when you do know that you wrestle and despair. Ignorance is bliss.

The point is, I needed the reassurance that questions are okay and that asking them didn't make me any less of a Christian, daughter, sister, friend, student, etc. I may not know all of the answers, but I do know the most important answer, and that in itself, brings hope, change, light, and life. Someday, we'll know, but in the mean time, we have to just roll with it and allow ourselves to be in the moment and be happy. And, in case you're wondering, blogging does make me happy because I like to talk about myself and analyze my feelings, therefore, I am in the moment.

PS- Melissa, don't think I forgot about you. I demand photos of all your nifty-gifties from baby Karys' shower <3.

I feel like I'm receiving some subliminal messages...