This blog really has nothing to do with England, but this song has truly touched me. Below I listed the lyrics to a song I have recently been exposed to (thanks to LB) and whenever I find a that rocks my world, it's not enough for me to just listen to it, I have to share it or I feel incomplete. Don't try to interpret what my meaning was right there (again, LB), because half of what I say is meaningless-- according to the Beatles. Anyway, here, give yourself a little nifty gifty and take part in something glorious. Your soul should sing for 3 minutes, 17 seconds approximately... If not, I happen to be a part time life coach and would love to offer my advice and/or additional services for a one-time fee of $4000 plus an additional $200/hour (just ask my boss, Jack, if you need a promising reference). I order you to pull this up on youtube since the lyrics are only a quarter of any song:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eFe3net82s
Doubting Thomas by Nickel Creek
What will be left when I've drawn my last breath
Besides the folks I've met and the folks who've known me
Will I discover a soul-saving love
Or just the dirt above and below me
I'm a doubting Thomas
I took a promise
But I do not feel safe
Oh me of little faith
Sometimes I pray for a slap in the face
Then I beg to be spared cause I'm a coward
If there's a master of death
I bet he's holding his breath
As I show the blind and tell the deaf about his power
I'm a doubting Thomas
I can't keep my promises
Cause I don't know what's safe
Oh me of little faith
Can I be used to help others find truth
When I'm scared I'll find proof that it's a lie
Can I be led down a trail dropping bread crumbs
That prove I'm not ready to die
Please give me time to decipher the signs
Please forgive me for time that I've wasted
I'm a doubting Thomas
I'll take your promise
Though I know nothin's safe
Oh me of little faith
PS- Cinco dias mas...
PPS- If you are a close friend and feel neglected by my lack of communication, please consider accepting my apologies. I'm flying by the seat of my pants here in a desperate attempt to call you all within the next few days, if only to refresh the memory of your sweet, melodic voices, but family, work and packing are priorities as well. So, hang tight.
MMKAY, 24 online is calling my name... mindless activity is good for you. Something to think about.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Whew... flashback to XANGA stalking Julia, Jordan, and Bee.
The countdown to England has finally begun... 7 days. It literally feels like yesterday that Alex and I were ending one of our phone calls with, "four and a half months 'til England!" I can't even believe that it's only a week away. It's frackin crAzy. England has been a dream of mine for God only knows how long, and it is finally coming to fruition. There have been some major setbacks and milestones along the way, but I think they have made me appreciate this opportunity and what is too come all the more. If nothing else, this is my first chance to shake my fists at the man and do things imperfectly for once. I'm tired of living up to unreasonable expectations that I, more often than not, have been imposing on myself, so my hope is that England grants me the peace of mind and clarity I've been needing. I'm hoping to take totally irrelevant courses... I say that now, but when the time comes to perfect my course schedule, I guarantee there will be several Econ courses, even if that means fighting tooth and nail with an English advisor to get into them.
Anyway, many of you have asked me to start a blog so that you can hear about the people I've met and the places I've seen... Oh, the places you'll go (thank you for that generous graduation gift, Mindy). I'm actually really excited about blogging because it will be NEAT to read about what I did a few days or weeks after the event for me too. Writing is an extremely precarious and personal thing for me, so sorry in advance for the baby steps. My thoughts are endless, but my words are few... Bare with me.
It's past my bedtime now (laugh if you want, but go ahead and wake up at 5 everyday this week and see if your bedtime doesn't get a little earlier each night), so I'm going to have to cut this short in order to prepare for slumber and work. First, I will leave you with something to cling to in case you frequently awaken in cold sweats and need some sort of distraction to lull you back into a false sense of security or sleep.
Tonight, I'm feeling ridiculously antsy. I can't stop rocking back and forth. C'est la vie. I started packing my things tonight or rather, eliminating a shirt here and there from what is to be stowed in my "family size" travel-compression bags (again, shout out to Mindy for making travelling that much each easier). I'm not gonna lie, it's hard for me to part with even the slightest things. Yes, my clothes have memories attached to them. Stop whatever horrific face you're making at the computer screen right now-- it's ill-becoming on you. The thought of not having access to 3 out of 7 pairs of pajama pants for 5 months is horribly depressing. Sadly, it has to happen. I don't understand some of the systems in place by the man. Who cares if my luggage is over 50 pounds? Don't quit your day job, weigher of the bags. I started packing tonight because I knew that this would be another area of my life where baby steps are essential in order to let go of certain familiarities that will take up unnecessary space in my luggage. If I had to guess, I'll probably be packing up until 3 hours before my departure. In the hours before I leave, I assume my mom will become increasingly impatient with me, while at the same time touching a few of my things and/or smelling my coat, and my dad will be puttering around the house, lingering near my room, or checking the oil in the car-- anything to prolong the inevitable. Little do they know, that my delays are always for the very same reasons. Ahh well, at least I have new birthday luggage and Skype.
What if the English don't carry my brand of tooth paste or deodorant? What if they don't have my Eucerin Q10 face moisturizer? For the love of God, what if there is a limited supply of SWEDISH FISH or CLIF BARS? WTF?! I have no freaking clue what to expect. This my first time to another country, not to mention that I will be ACROSS THE POND from everything I know and love for 5 months. That is, unless you count that fun/horrible day the Holden family spent in Canada (we basically drove over the bridge and back and called it a day). Joe (if you're reading this-- the probability being slim to none), remember that evil Canadian kid/pro-wrestler that dad made us hang out with? Chills. Suffice it to say, I'm 3 parts pure excitement, 1 part absolute fear of what is to come. Thank God for Alex.
SHOUT OUT TO MY UPENN KIDS: Kate, I had fun with you this weekend. You're presh and amazing; not to mention, very hospitable. Kyle, UR2Cool2B4Gotten. Jordan, well, at least you're ambitious.
Mmkay, that's all for now. I'm gonna go utilize another thing I'll have to part with... my electric toothbrush.
7 DAYS.
The countdown to England has finally begun... 7 days. It literally feels like yesterday that Alex and I were ending one of our phone calls with, "four and a half months 'til England!" I can't even believe that it's only a week away. It's frackin crAzy. England has been a dream of mine for God only knows how long, and it is finally coming to fruition. There have been some major setbacks and milestones along the way, but I think they have made me appreciate this opportunity and what is too come all the more. If nothing else, this is my first chance to shake my fists at the man and do things imperfectly for once. I'm tired of living up to unreasonable expectations that I, more often than not, have been imposing on myself, so my hope is that England grants me the peace of mind and clarity I've been needing. I'm hoping to take totally irrelevant courses... I say that now, but when the time comes to perfect my course schedule, I guarantee there will be several Econ courses, even if that means fighting tooth and nail with an English advisor to get into them.
Anyway, many of you have asked me to start a blog so that you can hear about the people I've met and the places I've seen... Oh, the places you'll go (thank you for that generous graduation gift, Mindy). I'm actually really excited about blogging because it will be NEAT to read about what I did a few days or weeks after the event for me too. Writing is an extremely precarious and personal thing for me, so sorry in advance for the baby steps. My thoughts are endless, but my words are few... Bare with me.
It's past my bedtime now (laugh if you want, but go ahead and wake up at 5 everyday this week and see if your bedtime doesn't get a little earlier each night), so I'm going to have to cut this short in order to prepare for slumber and work. First, I will leave you with something to cling to in case you frequently awaken in cold sweats and need some sort of distraction to lull you back into a false sense of security or sleep.
Tonight, I'm feeling ridiculously antsy. I can't stop rocking back and forth. C'est la vie. I started packing my things tonight or rather, eliminating a shirt here and there from what is to be stowed in my "family size" travel-compression bags (again, shout out to Mindy for making travelling that much each easier). I'm not gonna lie, it's hard for me to part with even the slightest things. Yes, my clothes have memories attached to them. Stop whatever horrific face you're making at the computer screen right now-- it's ill-becoming on you. The thought of not having access to 3 out of 7 pairs of pajama pants for 5 months is horribly depressing. Sadly, it has to happen. I don't understand some of the systems in place by the man. Who cares if my luggage is over 50 pounds? Don't quit your day job, weigher of the bags. I started packing tonight because I knew that this would be another area of my life where baby steps are essential in order to let go of certain familiarities that will take up unnecessary space in my luggage. If I had to guess, I'll probably be packing up until 3 hours before my departure. In the hours before I leave, I assume my mom will become increasingly impatient with me, while at the same time touching a few of my things and/or smelling my coat, and my dad will be puttering around the house, lingering near my room, or checking the oil in the car-- anything to prolong the inevitable. Little do they know, that my delays are always for the very same reasons. Ahh well, at least I have new birthday luggage and Skype.
What if the English don't carry my brand of tooth paste or deodorant? What if they don't have my Eucerin Q10 face moisturizer? For the love of God, what if there is a limited supply of SWEDISH FISH or CLIF BARS? WTF?! I have no freaking clue what to expect. This my first time to another country, not to mention that I will be ACROSS THE POND from everything I know and love for 5 months. That is, unless you count that fun/horrible day the Holden family spent in Canada (we basically drove over the bridge and back and called it a day). Joe (if you're reading this-- the probability being slim to none), remember that evil Canadian kid/pro-wrestler that dad made us hang out with? Chills. Suffice it to say, I'm 3 parts pure excitement, 1 part absolute fear of what is to come. Thank God for Alex.
SHOUT OUT TO MY UPENN KIDS: Kate, I had fun with you this weekend. You're presh and amazing; not to mention, very hospitable. Kyle, UR2Cool2B4Gotten. Jordan, well, at least you're ambitious.
Mmkay, that's all for now. I'm gonna go utilize another thing I'll have to part with... my electric toothbrush.
7 DAYS.
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